What can fathers do to support breastfeeding?

“I had real problems at the beginning, I was in a lot of pain, and was worried I was not feeding her enough. Each feed was a potential horror and I came to dread them. My husband really supported me, not pressurising me to either give up or stay with it, just trying to get me through the next feed.”

If you or your partner has any concerns regarding breastfeeding you can call the NCT Breastfeeding Line on 0870 444 8708 8am–10pm, seven days a week to speak to a fully qualified breastfeeding counsellor, who can offer you information and support to help you breastfeed successfully.

Research shows that fathers' attitudes can make a big difference to a woman's breastfeeding experience. Fathers are in an ideal position to provide emotional and practical support and to share in any concerns about learning to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding is not always straightforward for mother and baby. Sometimes a breastfeeding mother can lose confidence if feeding isn't going well, and she may well worry that your baby is not receiving enough nourishment. Good support, commitment and the right information can help overcome any problems.

Your support will make a difference. The more you understand about breastfeeding, the greater help you can give your partner. If you are calm and confident and able to understand her concerns, you will reassure and encourage her.

If you are unsure about her breastfeeding your baby, remember she is making the decision to give your baby milk that is tailor made to their needs. And there’s no evidence behind the idea that breastfeeding causes breasts to sag.

Formula milk is available if mothers do not breastfeed and many women mix breastfeeding and formula feeding. However, exclusive breastfeeding (giving nothing but breastmilk) for the first six months and continuing to breastfeed while solid foods are introduced brings the greatest health benefits.

What can you do?

• Be positive about breastfeeding - this will help build her confidence.
• Talk about how you each feel about coping with your new baby and with breastfeeding - you will be able to face any concerns together and overcome them as a team.
• Remember that breastfeeding is a new skill, for both mother and baby to learn - don't pressurise her, just be there with her and help her gain her confidence as she learns this skill.
• Make sure she has some food made for her and a drink, to keep her strength up. Newborn babies feed frequently so she may not get much of a chance to fend for herself.
• Help with household chores – feeding takes time, especially in the early days and night feeds means she needs extra rest in the day.
• Let her know that she is doing well and say positive things especially during the first few weeks.
• If your partner feels hesitant breastfeeding when you are out, position yourself so that she is not in full view of others and reassure her that she is doing a brilliant job.
• Share the parenting by being involved with the baby in ways such as soothing, bathing, cuddling and talking to your baby.
• Boost her confidence - reassure and encourage her.
• Get specialist help from a midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding counsellor if she is finding it difficult.
• Accept her decision of when to stop.

Paternity leave entitlement

All new fathers are entitled to take two weeks paternity leave around the time that their baby is born. It is paid at the same rate as maternity pay. Fathers must take the leave in one block, either of one or two weeks and it must be taken within 56 days from the actual day the baby was born, or in the case of premature babies, 56 days from the expected date of birth.

To qualify, employees should have worked for their employer for 26 weeks by the 15th week before the expected week of birth, i.e. 41 weeks before the baby is due and fathers must give their employer notice of their intentions in the 15th week before the baby is due. To qualify for paternity pay, men should give their employer a completed SC3 Inland Revenue form 28 days before the leave is due to start.

Flexible working rights

All parents (mothers and fathers) who have a child under 6 years of age (or under 18 in the case of a disabled child), have the right to ask their employer if they can work flexibly. This could mean a reduction in hours, working from home, or changes to hours worked.

To be eligible, employees must have worked for their employer continuously for 26 weeks at the time the request is made and only one request for flexible working can be made every 12 months. There is a strict procedure to follow when making a request, putting responsibilities on both the employee to be clear about the reasons for wanting to work flexibly and suggestions about how the post could be altered, and on the employer to give proper consideration to the request. If a request is accepted, it will mean a permanent change to the contract of employment.