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Your baby's age: 0-3 months

Development

In the first week after birth, it is normal for your baby to lose a little bit of weight before putting it back on. Usually by three months old, she will be slightly less than double her birth weight, though this can vary a lot. If you have any concerns about whether your baby is growing at the right rate, look at “How can I tell if my baby's thriving?”

In the first three months of life, your baby will change a lot. A newborn baby is responsive and sociable though it may seem to you, at times, that she mainly sleeps, cries, feeds and fills her nappy. But by the time she is three months old she more obviously active and ‘available’ for play, having begun to turn her head, kick her legs, make eye contact with you, smile, and babble. See "Communicating with babies and toddlers" for more information.

Feeding

For the first months of life, your baby will not need any solid food and will obtain the nutrients she needs from breastmilk or formula milk. (The World Health Organisation recommends that babies are not given solids until they are six months old.)

Breastfeeding

If you have chosen to breastfeed, your midwife will usually give you the opportunity to breastfeed your baby just after she has been born. You can hold your baby against your breast and guide her as she seeks your breast. Your baby may not want to feed straight away – some babies just enjoy a cuddle and can take an hour to latch on.

In the first few days after the baby is born, your breasts will produce colostrum. Colostrum is rich in antibodies and will help protect your baby against infection. A few days after birth, your breasts will start to make mature milk in larger quantities to match the needs of your growing baby.

Although breastmilk gives your baby an excellent start in life, some women do find breastfeeding difficult in the early days, and some babies have problems latching on. Your midwife and your health visitor will be able to give you some help if you encounter difficulties.

For more information on and help with breastfeeding, see the following pages:

If you would like further support with breastfeeding, you can also phone an NCT breastfeeding counsellor for help on 0300 330 0771. The lines are open from 8am to 10pm seven days a week.

Bottle-feeding

If you prefer to feed your baby with formula milk, you will need the following equipment:

Powdered milk for newborn babies
Six 250ml feeding bottles and bottle brush
Six bottle teats
A steam sterilizer

A large jug for hot water in which to reheat the bottleIt is extremely important, if you are bottle-feeding your baby, to make sure that you sterilize the bottles before each feed and make sure that you measure out the powder correctly.

See “Using infant formula: your questions answered” for more information.

Vaccination

You will be invited to take your baby for her first immunizations when she is eight weeks old and for a booster when she is 12 weeks old. She will be receive a combined vaccination that protects against diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis (whooping cough), polio and Hib and a separate vaccination called Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV). At 12 weeks old, she will receive a booster of the combined vaccination and a separate vaccination against meningitis C.

Sleeping

How much and how often their baby sleeps can be a source of concern and anxiety to many parents. All babies are different, but when your baby is this age, expect her to wake up at least once or twice during the night for a feed. Her tummy is still tiny, so she will need to feed little and often. There will be time to get her into a more predictable routine later on.

Where your baby sleeps is another concern for parents. Some like to have their baby in their bed with them (“co-sleeping”); some prefer to have the baby in a cot next to the bed; while other parents put the baby in her own room from the beginning.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you follow guidelines on safe-sleeping:

Don’t co-sleep if you are a smoker, or if you have been drinking.
If you do co-sleep, make sure your baby can’t fall out of bed, either by putting a rail at the side, or by pushing the bed up against the wall. Keep your baby cool by using sheets and blankets rather than a duvet.
Always put your baby to sleep on her back and, if she is in a cot, in the “feet to foot” position. This is because babies are much more susceptible to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or “cot death”, if they are put to sleep on their front. Placing her with her feet at the bottom of the cot – rather than with her head at the top – means she can’t wriggle down under the blanket, and so reduces the risk that she might suffocate. Don’t use a pillow either – babies don’t need a pillow until they are a year old.
The guidelines also state that it is safest if the baby sleeps n the same room as the parents in the first few months.

Crying

Small babies cry a lot, usually because they are hungry or tired, but it can be hard to tell what’s wrong. In general a baby’s crying reaches a peak at six weeks and then gradually declines. Some babies cry very much more than others. Sometimes small babies suffer from colic – uncontrollable crying – which can start when the baby is a few weeks old and last till she is about four or five months old although it usually improves markedly by the time the baby reaches three months. The exact cause isn’t known, but it may be related to digestive problems or the immaturity of the baby’s nervous system. It can be very hard to deal with so make sure that you get support and remember that it will pass as your baby gets older.

See “Crying baby” for more information about what crying means and how you can soothe your baby, and “Secure and insecure attachment” for information about how parents can best respond to their babies’ distress.

Bathing your baby

Your midwife will probably show you how to bath your baby the first time she visits you at home after the baby has been born. Instead of using a normal bath, which can be awkward, it is easier to use a special baby bath or even the bath your baby in a sink.

Fill the bath or sink with warm water, and test it with your elbow to make sure it is not too hot for the baby (your elbow is more sensitive than your hand, and so a better indicator of what is too hot). Supporting the baby’s neck and head with one hand, wash the baby gently with the other, using cotton wool. Use soap sparingly – mild baby soap is best. When you take the baby out of the bath, pat her dry with a towel.

You don’t have to bath your baby every day. Three or four times a week is usually enough, though a bath can be an enjoyable part of a bedtime routine. Do make sure you clean the nappy area when you change her nappy, however.

Playing

As your newborn grows, she will increasingly take pleasure in the world around her. Colourful mobiles or pictures of black-and-white shapes will usually attract her attention, as will rattles being shaken or the sound of human voices. Some babies like to lie on “baby gyms”: arches with objects such as bells or mirrors dangling from them that they can bat with their hands. Your baby will love to watch your face as you sing or talk to her. Play is important for your baby – it is the way she learns about the world around her.

See “Play” for some more ideas about how you can play with your baby.

Taking care of yourself

The first three months after giving birth are usually tiring. You may be exhausted from the birth, and on top of that, your baby will probably wake once or twice each night. If your baby cries a lot, you can feel at your wits’ end. It may not be much consolation now, but this time will pass: your baby will eventually sleep through, and you will feel less tired.

Some of the following things can help:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, even if it means napping in the day. If you can’t sleep, do at least try to rest, put your feet up with a magazine or watch daytime television!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and relatives
Rather than cooking a meal from scratch every day, prepare big batches of food and freeze them.
Go out for a walk each day with the baby
Join a mother and toddler group, or an NCT Early Days or Bumps and Babies group – meeting other mothers can make you feel less lonely.

It isn’t always easy, but try to take good care of yourself. Even if you do no other exercise, it’s a good idea to continue with your pelvic floor exercises, to reduce the risk of developing stress incontinence.

Relationships change during this time, and it is quite usual for your relationship with your partner to become strained. See “Changes to your relationships” for advice and help.

Sometimes your feelings of unhappiness go beyond the normal tiredness and frustration experienced by most mothers. You may have postnatal depression (PND) and need treatment. See “Feeling down? Feelings after the birth of your baby” for more information.

Six-week check

Six weeks after giving birth, you will have an appointment with your GP to check that you are well. (If you had a complicated delivery, the check may be carried out by a hospital doctor.) The check will include:

An examination of your episiotomy or caesarean scar, if you had one.
A blood pressure test.
A urine test.
A blood test to check whether you area anaemic
A cervical smear test, if you did not have one before your pregnancy.
An abdominal examination to make sure your uterus is back to normal

Safety

You will be concerned about keeping your baby safe at all times:

Don’t leave her unattended on a bed or other surface that she could roll off.
Check your car seat regularly for fit, both for your baby and in the car. See "Car travel/car seats" for more information.
Always use the appropriate harness in prams or pushchairs.