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Miscarriage support

Learn more about miscarriage support, including when you can try getting pregnant after miscarriage and the help you can get to deal with your feelings.

This article covers your and your partner's feelings after miscarriage, and getting pregnant again.

After miscarriage you may recover quickly, mentally and physically, or it may take longer, and you might benefit from some support and someone to talk to.

NCT and the Miscarriage Association are organisations that can put you in touch with other women who have lost a baby through miscarriage. Your hospital might also have a counselling service, or an Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) where nurses and/or midwives are trained to support women after miscarriage. You may need a doctor’s referral to attend an EPAU, but you may also be able to just ring them. If you feel depressed for a long time following your miscarriage, ask your GP or hospital doctor to refer you to a counsellor. This can really help.

Your feelings after miscarriage

Even if the pregnancy is in its early stages, this does not mean that women or their partners suffer less when a miscarriage happens. Women who have had difficulty conceiving, who have had recurrent miscarriages and/or do not have any children are especially likely to feel depressed and may question their ability to have a healthy pregnancy. It may be a good idea to get miscarriage support if you are struggling with your emotions.

You may be worried that there was something you did or did not do during your pregnancy that increased your chances of a miscarriage. This is extremely unlikely. If you have a follow-up appointment with your GP or the hospital, make sure that you find out whether there could be any possible causes, and what might happen in future pregnancies. 

You might want to get back to your normal routine as soon as possible and try to put it out of your mind. Or you might feel that you can’t face other people and that you need some quiet time. Rest. Try to find someone to talk to. What most women need is to be reassured that they are not alone, and that their feelings are normal.

Your partner’s feelings after miscarriage

Partners can be strongly affected by miscarriage, especially if they have seen their baby on a scan. Yet their feelings are often unacknowledged. They may feel excluded from sympathy expressed towards their partner. Research shows that men may find it very difficult to cope with and that their need for support is often as great as women’s. The Miscarriage Association provides a leaflet especially for men.

Getting pregnant after miscarriage

After miscarriage, many women have an overwhelming desire to start another pregnancy as soon as possible. Research shows that a speedy new pregnancy is generally fine, although it is a good idea to wait until you have had at least one normal period. You also need to give yourself a little space to recover. Get plenty of rest and make sure you are eating well. Don’t forget to take folic acid tablets before you start trying to get pregnant again.

You will probably find that you feel very anxious during the first part of your next pregnancy, until you have got past the week when you had your miscarriage. Once you start to feel your baby moving, you may become worried if you have not felt any movements even for a short period of time. Don’t feel awkward about asking for extra checks. You and your partner deserve lots of support to help you through this difficult time. Remember that most women go on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy after a loss.

Further information

NCT's helpline offers practical and emotional support in all areas of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood: 0300 330 0700.  

The Miscarriage Association  offers support and information to anyone affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy, and works to raise awareness and to promote good practice in medical care.

NHS choices also offers information on loss of pregnancy, including causes, diagnosis and treatment.

The miscarriage support website provides counselling for women and couples in Scotland who have suffered miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss.

NCT's Shared Experience Helpline supports parents who have had a difficult experience during pregnancy, birth or early parenthood.