How to look after yourself when you have a baby

In the busy early days of parenthood, self-care often falls to the bottom of a seemingly never-ending list of things that need to be done. However, practising self-care is important to protect the parent’s health and wellbeing, making them more relaxed and better able to look after the baby or babies (Middleton et al, 2025). 

Mothers and birthing people especially can put the baby first while neglecting their own needs. Research has found that many women report finding it difficult to strike a balance between the baby and looking after their own physical and mental health (Barkin and Wisner, 2013).  

Why is it hard to practice self-care?

• Time – looking after a baby is time consuming and can feel like an endless cycle of feeding and nappy changing, especially in the early days. It can feel like a self-indulgence to take time for yourself, but it’s not. 
• Availability of help – it can be hard to take a break from looking after the baby to do something else if there is no one to take over childcare. 
• Money – if help isn’t available from a partner or family, paying someone else to look after the baby can be expensive. Or parents might feel they can no longer afford to spend money on hobbies or activities they used to enjoy. However, looking after yourself doesn’t have to be expensive. 

Self-care tips  

Self-care is about looking after oneself mentally and physically. Here are some tips for looking after yourself when you have a baby.

• Build a support network, perhaps by attending an NCT Antenatal course, and make time to meet friends and other parents for a hot drink and a chat. 
• Don’t be too embarrassed to accept offers of help (Mind, 2024). Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re not coping or can’t manage – every parent needs support now and then. It could be help with shopping, cleaning or looking after other children or pets. 
• Ask for support from a partner, friends or family if not offered – explain to them what would be useful, as they may want to help but not know what is needed.
• Although usually well-meaning, family and friends may want to spend time with the baby in ways that the parents don’t find helpful. This might be visiting without warning or coming to stay for extended periods. As much as possible, try to set boundaries to manageable limits (Mind, 2024). 
• Keep a mood diary or journal. It can give an insight into how people, places and activities affect mood. 
• Parents could try to find time every day, even if just for a few minutes, to do something they used to do enjoy doing before the baby arrived. This could be anything from reading a book, watching TV or listening to music (Anna Freud, no date; Mind, 2024). 
• Creative activities especially can be relaxing, such as knitting, making crafts, singing or playing an instrument (Mind, 2025).
• Using technology can help parents feel connected, but using it too much can make them feel more stressed. Social media can also present images of ‘perfect parents’ which make us feel worse, so it's important to take a break from it (Mind, 2024; Mind, 2025). 
• Prioritise sleep, if possible, when the baby naps during the day, or by trying to not go to bed too late – especially if the baby is likely to wake up in the night (Anna Freud, no date). 
• Relaxation or meditation apps can improve wellbeing and help deal with daily challenges. 
• If struggling with mental health, contact local or national specialist organisations. They may offer the opportunity to talk to other parents who are going through the same thing. Services available might include a dedicated telephone helpline, a buddy service, online support, support groups, counselling and wellbeing sessions. We have information on Perinatal mental health.

Exercise and healthy eating  

Looking after yourself physically, by doing gentle exercise and eating well, can make you feel better mentally (Anna Freud, no date).  

• Exercise is a mood booster (Anna Freud, no date; Mind, 2024). After the very early days and when the parent feels able to, going for a walk with the baby in a sling or buggy is a fantastic way to stay healthy.  
• Getting outside, and especially into nature, can be calming and good for mental health (Mind, 2025). Our NCT Walk & Talk sessions are a way for new parents to connect in their local area. 
• Gentle exercise can be done at home to fit in when there are a few minutes spare. This could be stretches or dancing around the house to music the parent enjoys (Mind, 2024; Mind, 2025). 
• If the parent previously did a fitness activity that is no longer possible, they could try alternatives where they can take the baby along. This could be parent and baby yoga or exercise classes with the buggy in the park (Mind, 2024).  
• Energy levels will ebb and flow, and it’s important to recover physically from having a baby. Parents shouldn’t push themselves and opt for gentle exercise to begin with (Mind, 2024).  
• Gentle breathing exercises can be grounding and make the parent feel calmer. They can be done anywhere and only take a few minutes (Mind, 2025). This NHS page has a guide for breathing exercises. 
• Eating a balanced diet containing fruits, vegetables, protein and carbohydrates can help the parent stay well and feel good. See our article on Eating during pregnancy and after birth.